Thursday, March 31, 2011

Life as we know it

Last night was an interesting night in the waiting room. We were overwhelmed with an influx of women. Don’t get excited they were quite old, and I was impressed with the one lady who was at least 80 sleeping on the couch. It made me feel slightly bad for complaining about my back hurting, and then I realized she was about 2 feet shorter then I was. I was also shocked with how one of the ladies was able to have an employee bring her 6 blankets, and then demanded 3 pillows. I felt as if I was taking care of a young child, and asking them “Now what are you suppose to say to the nice man?” The guy returned with only one pillow, and I had to chuckle (yea I said chuckle). The lady was visibly unhappy, and it didn’t make sense to me as I look around the room, and I’m one of the only ones with a sweet pillow. Even the old lady (who we had to check if she was breathing) didn’t complain.

I’ve debated putting this in or not, but it was so real I have too. As we were attempting to make our bunk beds (not really), I looked over and saw the older lady on the couch sleeping peacefully in a position that you would see in a funeral home. Head tilted, and hands crossed perfectly. As we were looking for breathing, and laughing at the humor in it, Chris threatened to ground us if we didn’t tell her what were laughing at. Not wanting to be grounded I texted to ask if the lady was really breathing, it took her a few good takes to really make sure that was just “sleeping” peacefully.

Quincy and I were talking last night, and making a ruckus (I’m starting to sound like my grandmother with these fancy words). Strangely we have a fairly similar personality and I can only imagine the fear that instills in people who know us both. We were talking about the movie “step brothers” last night and how that pertained to us. We’ve considered dressing up in scrubs (which we do have) donning a couple surgeon caps and walk around the hospital like we’re doctors. I would be a specialist from out of town, and he’d be something less important (because I’m the smarter of the two of course). This guy even watches American idol? Who does that? I had to make fun of him, because he actually went downstairs into an empty room last night, just to watch it and do his own judging so he can vote accordingly to the “best competitor.” Thankfully I can say I’m not blood related to that. J This also reminds me of one of the worst possible ideas I’ve ever heard of. Chris was talking about our beloved cavs basketball and she was mentioning how great an American idol for basketball would be. She was talking about the talent that they could find and how it would work so well. (sighs… silly girls)

We went into see dad this morning and his color looks pretty good. His temperature was average and overall just looked pretty good. In talking to the nurse, she said that his numbers are still looking good, and he is no longer on his medicine that his helping regulate his blood pressure. I was in the room as the kidney doctor stopped in and he has decided not to do dialysis for the second day in a row. He is having more urine output and his levels are still a little elevated but it’s looking as if his kidneys are starting to function better. They’re still not perfect, but from the way the doctor sounded last time he felt as if they wouldn’t work again. We are all really excited about this, and it is an answer to prayer, so keep it up until they’re fully functioning. 

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

intended for informative purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult your physician...

Last night as I was sleeping in my cocoon, I woke up to an annoying noise, and was getting ready to throw something in the general direction it was coming from. Before breaking out the violence, I decided that the better choice in this matter would be to stuff the teddy bear arms, I was given, into my external auditory canals to stop the ringing. It worked for awhile, until I woke up again and was ready to take my socks off and shove them into the mouth of the leaf blower across the room, but again, I chose the higher road and decided to save my skin by not moving and ripping it from the pleather it was firmly attached too (In actuality it was pure laziness). I found out this morning that the crazy lady with the annoying alarm that kept going off was Chris. It upset me to know that I didn’t actually throw some object at her (it would have been something fairly soft, no worries).

We went in to talk to the nurse this morning since the docs haven’t called us back. She reported that a few  levels in his kidneys we’ve been monitoring, to determine some of  the functioning, have been steadily lowering (bun and creatinine). We’ve been worried about it, but it’s been good new to see it decreasing. They’ve decided not to do dialysis today, because he is getting rid of some fluid on his own. I have been noticing his abs are starting to look like my 8 pack and I was curious on the weight loss. I was looking at the bed, in which I changed to the proper date and time one night as I was using the touch screen as a night light when I was reading. I compared the difference and did the math in my head (it took a little longer) but I came to the conclusion that he has lost 45 pounds. I was shocked, so I checked the math again (on my phone) and it was actually right (shocking yes I know, good thing my math teachers aren’t reading this to refute my math skills). This is one heck of a diet to lose that much in a week and half. I’d recommend a few different options if you want my advice, but we’ll save that for another blog. 

We’ve been confused about pops clotting, he’s on heparin (a blood thinner) and so it’s been hard to stop some bleeding in a few areas where needles and lines have been placed, but yet he keeps clogging the dialysis machine. We had a hematologist (that just sounds sweet) come in and he’s changed a few of his drugs. Since the kidneys aren’t really working properly he has stopped heparin because it metabolizes (breakdown or change chemical makeup) in the kidneys. He is now on a medication that is a thrombin inhibitor (basically it prevents the blood from clotting, it’s not a blood thinner, but acts like one). His Gatorade IV (TPN which is nutrition that I talked about last post, that looks just like yellow Gatorade) seems to be going well, and we haven’t had any problems yet. He’s going to be hyped up with electrolytes after this.

Last night, I noticed dad is starting to smell like a man because they don’t want to stimulate him too much and roll/move him so I helped clean between those fingers and who knows what came from between those things, but I think it probably smelled worse than my breath does in the morning. I told Chris about it, and she did the same thing this morning and rubbed some girly smelly lotion on his hands, and newly slimmed feet. She left to get a bite to eat and as the nurse walked back in I saw a look on her face as if it was saying “why on earth does this guy smell like jasmine blossoms?” I had to tell her that I in fact am not the one who smells like a church lady who uses half a bottle of perfume (yea you all know, you know at least one lady like that) but it was my step mother who used half the bottle of lotion on dad. I think it eased her up a bit, and realized I am safe to stand closer to than 10 feet.

As I was sitting in dads room today, talking to him, scaring the nurse because I wanted to turn on sportscenter to let dad listen to all the talk of the cavs, she kindly told me that she’s trying to keep things quiet in here (meanwhile two alarms are beeping  quite loudly) so his oxygen stays high (which is beyond me, how that works). So I obliged her request  keeping the radio and TVoff so she could enjoy her quiet time with the alarms. While she was talking to me, I began to realize how it’s hard for them to understand the way I talk, and how hard it is for me to understand how some of them talk. I’ve found myself adding a southern twang to things and when I do, I’m not asked to repeat myself. Now if they will only be kind enough to me to get rid of the accent then we may be able to understand each other. I’m sure as soon as I head back north, I’ll still have a twang and they’ll royally make fun of me, but somehow I’m ok with that.

We’ve posted a picture in dads room, with a little note below it, that reads “ this is the papa we want to get back.” It’s a picture taken of dad and his huge cheeser smile (probably because he just got through talking to me). You can see the life in his smile and eyes, but what we miss most is the kindness in his heart. We’re all ready for him to be back , I think we’ve all learned things we’ve taken for granted in the past, and how we want to change. Life is too short, and you don’t  know what tomorrow may hold. You may be in the shower one moment, and the next you’ll be in the ICU with 12 IV’s and a vent breathing for you. We’ve learned to give the extra hug, show the extra smile, take a little time and show those you really care about them.

Today we had the volunteer visitor nazi. It’s this sweet little old lady barely 5 ft  tall, and if you don’t wash your hands before you walk back into the ICU, you get the death glare and a stern yelling. I’m concerned that if I don’t thoroughly wash my hands, I’ll have to go out back and get a switch so she can hit me with it.

I’m kind of disappointed recently I’ve been eating more chick-fil-a and sonic than I have that good ole southern comfort food. I love those two places, but I’m ready for some nice southern cooking!

During the last visiting hours, I was in the room, talking to dad about random facts, and then the nurse began talking to me about different medications that he’s on and that he’s pretty sedated and probably won’t remember much of what is going on. I then responded with “so now this is the time to tell him whatever I need to, but didn’t really want to tell him?” She laughed and said that way you can say that you have told him at one point! The respiratory therapist soon came in and saw new pictures that Chris has brought in and here words were “wow he’s a loved guy” and “  he looks like a lot of fun.” We then went into talk about funny stories and memories that I have had with dad. I’m ready to have him back to his smiley jovial self.

The doctor came in towards the end and stated she was very encouraged by some of the reports that have come back. His ejection fraction (which is the measure of how efficient the blood is pumped from the ventricles) is 45-50%  which she was very pleased with. She said it’s typically lower after a second blockage. The typical EF is about 55%.  She also changed the settings on the balloon pump to where it is now only assisting with every third beat. Overall it was a good day, he’s highly sedated, so he doesn’t really respond or seem to be aware that we are here, but we’re back at the stage to where any gain big or small is great. We’re looking for anything to keep us encouraged. 

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

It's not what you know, or act like you know... it's who you know

Last night was an interesting night in the waiting room. For those of you really paying attention the remote control and the body pillow remain on the top of the list for the best purchases yet. However the house shoes are slowly climbing their way in. It’s like I’m walking air with the memory foam. One of our house guest (The guy who finds it necessary to use his outside voice at 6 AM.) warned us that he was a Vietnam vet and not to be alarmed if he wakes up in the middle of the night screaming (are you kidding? I’ll be alarmed and probably changing my britches).  He warned us for a couple days, but apparently last night in the mist of his lawn mowing, felt the need to yell expletives out loud. I think we’re all getting used to sleeping with the lights on, and I’m starting to really enjoy the cocoon I’m sleeping in. I think I’m going to have to turn my lights on and turn the radio up to sleep anymore. My spine has been manipulated enough it feels good to sleep in a cockeyed position.

The doctors were actually on time this morning, and we really didn’t get any change in news. Dad isn’t requiring 100% oxygen saturation and is now on 55% requirement.  I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it before but dad also has what is called an illeus. It’s a portion of his intestines that aren’t functioning appropriately, so we’re not sure if he’s getting the proper nutrition and medication he needs. The plan is it basically put sugar and nutrients through an IV because the medication through his stomach isn’t absorbing properly. The risk with this is that all the nutrients are a great transport for bacteria which is a potential problem. But the way we’re looking at it, is that the rewards outweigh the risks.

We’ve been talking to doctors, friends and friends of friends all day, to try and get as much information we can about the next step from here. We’ve been happy with care we have received here, but being a smaller hospital, we want to make sure we’re doing to best possible thing with the most options to make sure dad will recover. It’s been tough and trying, but there is no doubt he’d do the same for any of us. At this point we’re staying here in Hot Springs, letting the balloon pump do its job, and see if it’s getting better. If that doesn’t work, then the options we’ve been exploring may be more of a reality.

Dad has had a few problems during dialysis, and has been clotting in the machine. It’s been kind of confusing to the dialysis nurse, because he’s on heparin (blood thinner) and we’re not sure why it keeps clotting. He told me it’s because something going on in his body that’s fighting something.  They consulted a hematologist and they are switching up some of the meds and going to investigate further.

It was nice to see dad open his eyes again for me today, I hadn’t seen that in a day or two, and he was able to open them up when he heard me talking to him. It’s the little things like that keep my hopes high when I start to get discouraged. We need to keep our heads high, keep fighting, praying and hoping. They changed the balloon pump settings tonight where it assist with every other beat. What the pump is doing, is helping give extra oxygen to the heart when it relaxes to ensure it’s remaining healthy and beating appropriately.

I’ve been fortunate enough to meet some great people throughout my life, and establish some decent connections. I decided to put a few of those connections to use and ask around about cardiac surgeons in the Arkansas area since I know nothing about them. About midday one of my great friends from Haiti called with a connection and I was able to talk to a Surgeon in the D.C area who I’ve never met or talked to before. She was great she was honest and open, and willing to answer any questions I had. She put me into contact with a guy in Kentucky who is willing to get things arranged to transfer and accept dad if that’s what we wanted. I also had to opportunity to talk to someone who had been coached by my dad, and works at Baptist in Little rock as an anesthesiologist. Apparently dad also coached the vice president of the cardiologist team ( I don’t recall exactly) and they are willing to help any way they can. It’s nice to see people dad (the pope) has known over the years and the great things they are doing now and their willingness to help. I think it again shows the type of guy my dad is.

At this point, we’re waiting to see how the balloon pump works, and then we’ll go from there, but we want our options lined up just in case…

Monday, March 28, 2011

No more carnival rides, I want a funnel cake.

Although tonight was such a rough night, most of us got a little more sleep than normal. I think I slept more last night than I have the rest of the week. I feel refreshed and I’m ready for another long week. I’ll give Courtney the credit for saying this but she stated
“I’m tired or this roller coaster ride, I’d rather ride on the bumper cars.” I think it sums up how most of us feel. We can hit something and rebound on bumper cars or just swerve around obstacles instead of the constant ups, downs, twist and turns we’ve been on so far. For those of you who know me, you know I’ve never been a big fan of coasters anyway. I also felt like I was going to fly out because my butt always lifted off the seat, so this ride is particularly not enjoyable since I don’t like them to begin with.

The doctor didn’t come into today at his normal time, he was in around 10, rather than his normal 8. The nurses called us back, and the cardiac doctor was explaining a little more to us. He said they had to put a stent into a stent (like a sandwich). We all knew my dad was unique but we realized it even more when the doctor said this only happens in about 2% of people with stents. They’re planning on leaving the balloon pump in until at least Wednesday. His heart isn’t really doing any work at this time and the vent is doing his breathing for him.

We’re just going back during visiting hours so it’s a tough waiting game, having to wait and go back. He’s pretty drugged up, so it’s hard to tell if he understands what we’re talking about, he has started to have a twitch at times, and the nurses told us that it could be from the meds, but it also may be from some neurological issues. We pray that it’s just for the meds and it’s not that his brain has been affected.

I’m not sure the appropriate place to add this portion, but I feel it’s too funny not to add. After the doctors talked to us about adding another stent, my grandpa (who has been fighting a cold) get the hand sanitizer and rubs some on his face and then the next think I hear is “WOW that burns…”  I started cracking up ( a quick turnaround from where I was) and then he said it cleared him up. So soon after he does it the first time, I look at him and he has mustache of foam sanitizer that is “Clearing his nose.” It was great humor in a time of sadness, and it has described a lot of the week.

Things have been fairly quiet today, and not as much family is around, so Quincy and I were talking and felt it was important to take a trip to buy some gear to make our home (Waiting room) more comfy. We were on the lookout for house shoes. House shoes are very difficult to find this time of year for some reason. Apparently house shoes go out of season and I’m not sure why. Don’t people always need them in their house?

We’ve been considering transferring about an hour away to heart hospital. Please help pray for the difficult decision. It’s not that we don’t love the staff (most) here, but you don’t want a plumber fixing your cabinets, or a carpenter fixing your toilet. We’re trying to make the best decision for dad’s recovery. He’s fighting with us, not against us! 

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Every Breath I take, I take in you..

The good news of today is that they started off by extubated (taking tube out) dad to see how he could tolerate it. He was struggling pretty bad, and was having a lot of anxiety initially. He sounded as if he was wheezing and that there was something flapping in his airway. The doctor, nurse and respiratory therapist were prepared and put on a larger oxygen mask (that made him look like an astronaut). He was eventually able to calm down for a little, after a little help from steroids and drugs. It was determined that he had a swollen airway potentially due to trauma from the initial attempt to intubate (put a tube down) by the paramedics. He was again struggling throughout the rest of the day, and it was determined that he was going to have to get the tube put back in. Chris also was keeping a close eye on the monitors and with the rest of the staff they noticed some irregularities in the heart rhythm.

The cardiac doc came up immediately and it was determined that his stent was starting to close up, and he was sent back to the cath lab almost immediately to attempt try and reopen the stent and a balloon pump was inserted. This pump is set to help the heart get extra blood every third beat. The doctor stated that he was worried about the outcome and they aren’t sure if he’ll pull through, but we know that miracles can happen and we’re praying for one. They’re pretty sure the kidneys won’t recover so he’ll more than likely be on dialysis. He’s heavily sedated again, and we’re back to where we were a few days ago, however his vitals are a little more stable. He’s not on blood pressure meds yet this time, and that’s a good thing.

The plan as of now, is to keep him sedated and relaxed to let him recover a little. We’re pretty lucky that we actually took the tube out so we could actually notice these things. It’s hard to know if we would have noticed this if he was still on the vent. Things have been pretty rough today, but we’re praying hard and hoping for the best. It was tough to see him when his sedation was weaning off today. He was more alert and looking around but he was restless and sucking for air, although his saturation levels were doing well. He was reaching for his chest as he normally does when he coughs, but he started to just hold his left side, as if he was showing us it was hurting. If things go well on the vent for awhile, they may put in a trach( a hole in his throat) to make it easier for his airway to heal with less trauma, and it’s less scary for him to wake up too.

Thankfully we’ve have a ton of family support and prayers. Keep praying, miracles can happen. A verse we’ve been focusing on Is Ephesians 3:20 (the heart attack happened on 3-20) “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.” We need to realize it’s in God’s hands and not ours. If we can ask it or even imagine it God is ready and willing to do IMMEASURABLY more than that…so if we can ask for Dad’s healing than He can do A LOT more than that!

A song that was playing this morning in dads room (we always have Christian music on in there) was “Every Move I Make I Make in You.” I thought the lyrics were perfect for this situation, so here are a few of the lyrics:

Every move I make
I make in You
You make me move, Jesus
Every breath I take
I breathe in You

Every step I take
I take in You
You are my way, Jesus
Every breath I take
I breathe in You

We're staying afloat.

We decided to take shifts last night for 3.5 hrs each. Courtney (my favorite step sister) started off and I was to follow. I set my phone alarm two different times, and although I didn’t feel too tired when I went to bed (in the really comfortable chairs that I fit so well in) a little after 10.  The next think I know, Courtney is waking me up and yelling (not really I’m just being dramatic) about oversleeping. I didn’t hear my alarms, but I’m sure the other people in the waiting room did (now that I know what it’s like to sleep with tons of noise). It’s been kind of funny, every morning I get up to this nice fella who is talking extremely loud! I want to tell him to use his indoor voice like he does in the afternoon, but I think it’s his goal to make sure everyone wakes up in a timely manner (5:45).

Sorry for the bantering, so in the midst of Courtney’s lecture, she tells me dad has had a pretty rough night. He’s extremely restless, and is consistently moving around and having a bid of a hard time relaxing. I wait a little before I go in because they’re doing a procedure (which I won’t mention), but it’s rather uncomfortable and they usually kick us out for it. As I come in I see him very figidity and hanging off the bed. His eyes are slightly open and I try to calm him down, but it’s not working very well. I finally get him to relax a little and fix wires that are hanging everything, and try to straighten up some of the pads and tubes that look pretty uncomfortable.

As he’s calming down, the x-ray guys come in and want a chest and abdomen x-ray (sighs). So they have to turn him lift him up to get the cold metal thing in alignment, they eventually finish and allow me to go back in the room and try to calm him again. He’s having a difficult time breathing again, and is getting worked up, the nurse eventually comes in, we suction him out and he’s resting peacefully.

It’s good that we’re able to suction some of the mucous and junk out of the lungs, but the more we do it, we’re risking an increase chance of getting an infection which is something I’d rather him not have. It’s kind of a tough situation to be in. I’m anxious to talk to the Doctor today to see what the plan is. Dad has been breathing on his own all night and his vent levels are looking decent (I’m now a professional venter). He should be getting blood gas draws soon, and we’ll take a look at a lot of different levels of things in the blood. They help with monitoring your kidneys functions (and we have some pee, which I don’t recall ever being happier about seeing pee). It’s been a pretty good level and I’m hoping this means we have kidney function and we don’t have to stay on dialysis (I’m not a professional peeologist).

I think I’m starting to fight a cold, which couldn’t come at a worse possible time. I don’t want to do anything to make pops sicker than he already is, but I want to be in here and be with him to make sure things are going well. Although I was in his room a lot the last couple days, I felt like I was a little less aware of what was going on, I think it’s because we’ve all been so tired that you forget what was said to you almost immediately. Courtney and Chris are starting to look scary and definitely need to sleep a little more. If things worked out as planned Chris ( I keep on spelling it as Christ, which I’m sure she thinks it is appropriate since she did bring pops back to life) should get about 7 hours of sleep which will be almost as much as she’s gotten since she’s been here. I’m trying to get her to leave and take a little break, but she’s a typical woman and stubborn as (searching for a funny line) mule ( I know it’s original --sorry, couldn’t find anything better). 

The rest of the cousins are leaving today, so it’s just going to be Chris, Courtney, their family (which all live really close to each other), my grandparents and myself. I’ve decided I’m going to go through my grandma’s bags before the plane (whenever we decide to leave) so we don’t get patted down and walk through the body scanner (I’m being overly dramatic again).  I have a little extra time to write today, since the big chief, is sleeping so nice right now. I feel like I haven’t kept everyone as updated the past couple days as much so here is a quick rundown of a few things. We may have an infection somewhere, the white blood cell count (WBC) should tell us that, it may be in his hand, but it also could be in his lungs. He’s a little more alert and is waking up a lot more, but that also means he’s more restless and uncomfortable. His kidneys weren’t working at all, but they seem to be producing something at least. He’s breathing on pressure support for the past day (which means he is initiating all of his breathing).

I’ve had 2 people mention a few things to me recently concerning dad that I feel I should share. The first one was a doctor who saw him initially after the heart attack, and his exact words were “it’s a miracle he’s doing this well.” There was one respiratory therapist who also said he’s been doing great, and he’s really done well despite everything that has happened. It’s a long road and we’re still not sure of what the outcome may be, but we do know he has people around the world praying for him. And there is nothing else we can do. It may be selfish of us to want him to get better so quickly and we know that heaven is a greater place than earth, but he was selfish for wanting to go visit with my mom. So I guess I’m glad Chris was jealous and brought him back for us.

Our favorite nurse is back today, and I’m hoping she gets to work with dad again. She makes it easy because I don’t have to bribe her that much anymore, because I did all of that with her already. She was great with Lindsey and helped her play nurse. She listened to both her and pops heart, as well as their lungs. Lindsey helped hand IV bags, and she’s just been great working with her and talking to her. I’m hoping she can help with a different bed that’s more comfortable. Someone termed the bed as the “fat guy in a little coat” portion of tommy boy the movie. All is well as of now,  I feel roles have reversed and just like dad was proud of me at times growing up (I can’t recall a certain time I’m just hoping ;)), I’m proud of him for the fighting he has done. We aren’t out of the woods yet and we have a long road ahead, but we’ve been negotiating a lot of bumps and curves and we’ve gotten car sick a few times, but we’re still in the car and that’s good (that was a lame analogy, but it was fun). Last time Denise worked she described dad as treading water. He’s staying afloat with not many changes, but he’s stay afloat and that’s good enough for me at this time, I’m just glad his head is above the water. 

Saturday, March 26, 2011

“Smile, breathe and go slowly”

I think I’ll start this one off by saying women are bombs of emotions waiting to explode. Actually that’s unfair to say, I think we were all emotional today for some reason. It could partially be due to a lack of sleep or the fact that most of our supporting cast are leaving tomorrow. I think mostly it’s the fact that everyone is upset they weren’t able to be here when the tubes come out. I know my sister is having difficulty because she wants him to know that she was here spending time with him. It’s just simple things that worked us up today.
I had problems focusing on anything today.   I was just fatigued and out of it, so I was forced to go out and look around town and check out the hot springs (they’re natural pockets of hot water .. duh). After the tour, a lot of the family went out to get a bite to eat at a pretty nice Japanese place. I know I needed to get out and take a break, but it was hard to do. You don’t really focus on anything else besides how your dad is doing. I was going to stay in the room overnight again, but Chris volunteered and although I told her I wasn’t tired, as soon as I laid my head down I don’t think I woke up. Staying up for 23 hours is bound to make you tired. Maybe I should start drinking a little coffee. My grandma always told my dad that coffee made you short and he never drink it when he was younger and so every time someone ask if I’m a coffee drinker I have to tell them that story.

I apologize for the blog being boring and not to good for these past couple days, I haven’t had much time and I’ve been focusing on a few other important things. I forgot to finish the blog last night so it sort of ends abruptly.

Today started off fairly well. We met with a new doctor (Weekend staff I guess). Dad was switched from volume support to pressure support which makes him breathe more on his own. The doctor was pleased with the steps dad is taking, but is concerned with a few levels that are a little high. They noticed his white blood cell count was high which typically means some sort of infection.  They said his lungs sound clear so they are doing several cultures to see if they can determine where the infection is. So he went ahead and  put him on antibiotics to help fight whatever it is. The doctor lowered a couple more settings on the vent to make dad work a little harder to see if he could tolerate it and he became a little worked up. The respiratory therapist told us it really wasn’t anything major to have his levels a little higher because of his size.

Dad has been restless pretty much most of the day, and I’ve been working on the bed to make it more comfortable. Apparently hospital beds aren’t made for tall people and they don’t have any in the hospital so I took the end of the bed off. I’ve been moving his legs and doing a little therapy with him, and it seems to relax him quite a bit. He keeps kicking his legs off the bed, and it’s a constant game to try to keep his legs in a decent position. He is definitely more alert today and I’ve been trying to communicate with him through hand squeezes. I asked him if he knew where he was and what happened and he squeezed my hand for both. I’m not sure if it’s voluntary but I’m pretty sure he does understand me. I’ve asked him twice and I’ve had the same response. His eyes definitely look  more like he understands today and that makes me feel much much better. 

He’s been coughing less today, but still has some pretty bad episodes which really works him up. You can tell he’s no longer comfortable in bed, he’s trying to push himself up and move but he’s still pretty weak, so he’s making me do all the hard work for him. I had to laugh today when I asked the nurse to help me give him a boost and she couldn’t because her neck hurt too bad. Are you kidding?  Why are you working and what are you doing in ICU then? That makes for great quality of care! Then she goes on to complain about her back issues and why she can’t get workers compensation, it was a real pleasure.

The respiratory therapist was great today, I really enjoyed having her work with dad and she explained a lot, and communicated like a champ. I think she got off to a great start when she told Chris I was cute (that always works). I feel I have to share this story to liven up the blog today, but Courtney asked  me if I needed relieved in the room since we’re trying to stay with him around the clock, and my response was heck no there is a cute respiratory therapist here. We’ve been joking about pick up lines all week, so she was asking which one I was going to use. I replied back to her saying “ hey aren’t you suppose to help people breath better?  Because you just took my breath away.” Courtney made my promise that I wouldn’t use it, so then I came up with the one saying “hi I’m Scott from the community health organization here to test your CPR certification and since you’ve already made my heart beat, how about we begin with rescue breathing.” Of course I didn’t use this but I would be interested in seeing the outcome of them. Haha.

Overall dad is doing pretty well today, we’re praying he continues to breathe on his own without problems and we keep decreasing a few of the pressure levels. This would help us take the tube out of his mouth and it would make it much more comfortable for him. I’m hoping the restlessness eases up. We’re hoping the infection goes away (I’m pretty sure there is a slight infection in his hand) and we’re hoping to get a new bed. 

Friday, March 25, 2011

Greater things are yet to come....

Just a warning, this may be a long and random post with a lot of random thoughts. I’m sitting in the ICU for the night shift to make sure dad remains calm (again how I’m suppose to keep him calm is beyond me, but I’m up for the challenge). Trish, Chris and I are going to try to rotate throughout the night so we don’t get too tired. I’m glad they let me bring in my laptop so I can stay awake a little easier and I can get a lot of thoughts out. 
It’s definitely been one of the toughest times I’ve been through seeing pops like this, when my mom was sick as well as many others I was a little too young to understand and mostly appreciate the greater things in life. The past couple years I’ve started to have a great respect for the things my dad did for me. I think it mainly started when he moved back down south and I started my bachelor life. You see the sacrifices that were made  for you and the love that he had for us. I can’t fathom the idea of trying to raise two young kids on your own. He changed his career so that he would have the same schedule as us, he took a pay cut and I’m sure it was quite a bit more stressful. We were laughing the other day about no one being to more state capitals than my father, and that’s something that brought back some fond memories.

Dad always wanted to take us on at least one vacation a year as a family. I didn’t enjoy some of the places at times (what kid does like historical stuff), but I look back at the chances and opportunities he has given both Tricia and I and the people that he has surrounded us with; it says something about how much he cares for us. It’s tough to see him in the condition because he’s always so full of life. As I was sitting talking to him and he opened his eyes, it was hard to look at the eyes that watched me grow up. They track me a little at times, but other times, they’re looking straight up and I can’t get a read on them on if he knows we’re here. He is able to follow some commands when he’s not too tired, but looking in his eyes with little response besides pain and confusion is what hurts to most.  I know he’s slightly sedated and on a decent amount of pain medicine, but I just don’t see my “Dad”.  I know he knows I’m here, the way he responded the first time I walked in the room. I know that he’s in there, but I miss those eyes which have shown me happiness, disappointment, excitement, sadness and many other emotions. As I’ve written before, eyes can tell you so much and all I see now is pain and fright and I want to take that away. I know that I can’t but God can, and we need to realize that it’s just difficult because I want it to happen quick. I want him to tell me “o brother” again, I want him to end our phone calls with I love you. I want to see him (I’ll regret this) smiling ear to ear as Chris is flirting and showing way too much PDA.

Each one of you reading this blog has more than likely been touched by my father at some point in your life. Whether he was making you puke while running suicides for basketball, talking to you about your grades, bringing you to the front of the bus to talk about the game plan, eating pizza somewhere or just being there for you and giving you one of those hugs that he can only give. It’s without a doubt tough for all of us who know him, but if you know him you know he’s a stubborn (it’s a good thing) and extremely faithful man who strives to teach others to be strong in their faith, and every other aspect of their life. The outpouring of love and support we have seen has been incredible. I knew my dad is a great man, but it’s been humbling to hear how he has touched so many other people.
I’m confident he’s going to pull through these trials, and as I said in an earlier blog, everything is happening for a purpose. I feel that this has a greater thing to come and that there is a bigger picture to this whole situation than a change in diet when he recovers. It may be a nurse who has seen the outpouring of support by family and friends, it could be a fellow patients family member who sees us camped in the waiting room, and it may even be a fellow family member. But there is a greater plan. One of the songs that keep running through my head is one I’ve sung at church many times and I keep thinking about it over and over again tonight is God of this City by Chris Tomlin :

Verse 1.
You're the God of this city
You're the King of these people
You're the Lord of this nation
You Are

You're the light in this darkness
You're the hope to the hopeless
You're the peace to the restless
You are

Bridge:
For there is no one like our God
There is no one like You God

Chorus 1:
For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done
In this city
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done here


Verse 2:
You're the Lord of Creation
The Creator of all things
You're the King above all kings
You Are

You're the strength in our weakness
You're the love to the broken
You're the joy in the sadness
You Are

Bridge:

Chorus 2:
For greater things have yet to come
Greater things are still to be done
In this city
When glory shines from hearts alive
With praise for You and love for You
In this city

Greater things have yet to come
Greater things are still to be done
In this city
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done here

Throughout the night pops was coughing quite a bit and was requiring more suctions. If you’ve never seen a suction through a tube, it’s really no fun to watch. He starts to cough and gets worked up and then a thin wire is pushed down the tube and it gags you as it passes through your reflexes. His blood pressure spikes and he turns really red, I know it’s helping but seeing it and seeing him go through it isn’t something that I want to see long. I’m ready to get this tube taken out! We did try to wean the vent off earlier in the night, but it’s so difficult to do without much sedation. You’re used to the vent breathing for you and then you start to realize that you have some weird object down your throat and you want it out, so you start to become anxious and worried which elevates all the levels we want to stay low, and it’s just not a good situation. The decision was made to let him rest since he worked so good this morning and breathing mostly on his own and we’ll try it again tomorrow!

The first time they weaned him it was weaned with what is called a volume support. I’m not sure the best way to describe but I’ll attempt too.  Basically the machine is set to a specific volume, and when he breathes in and it measures that volume, and if it’s not up to the set volume the machine kicks in and helps. The plan tomorrow is to start pressure support which is a little different. It’s basically not helping with the volume, but it’s going to rely on him pulling air in through the tube, but it’s going to help a little because he’s breathing through a straw. If that goes well the hope is to take the tube out!! That would be huge for him, and I think it’ll be the biggest gain we’ll make so far. He’s still in critical condition but he’s working hard and we can’t ask for anything more than that!

Friday
I’m going to apologize right off the bat for this post, I’m on a lack of sleep and too stubborn to nap. Sadly I was kind of disappointed that I wasn’t in the “house” last night for my ear drums to be stimulate by the lawn mower convention (snoring) but I had a good time  sitting in the big guys room trying to keep from nodding off so I don’t get a head injury from hitting the side of the bed. He started today with a little of breathing on his own. I’m not sure if it was volume or pressure support but they had to put him back on more vent assist because the dialysis can be stressful to the system. He’s tolerating it really well and they’re able to increase the rate (so it filters the blood more). He has a slight fever and elevated white count. The amount of secretions coming from his lungs makes the doctors think that he may have a little pneumonia. He visibly hates the suction and I would too! The doctor reported that he will not get extubated today and that it’s a process to come off. Things won’t happen overnight, and we need to stick to the process. I think that’s definitely the hardest part for us.  Our generation wants things to happen here and now, and it’s best for dad to take it easy and work his lung muscles up to being able to tolerate fully breathing on his own.

We have our favorite nurse back today, and we also have the harmonica playing dialysis nurse as well. Today is a tough day for a lot of people because they’ll be leaving tomorrow. I think I’ve decided that it would be best to stay a little longer, and my grandparents are doing the same. My dad sister and her family will be heading out tomorrow as well as Tricia. She’s pretty upset about it, because she wanted to see dad off of the vent and we had such high hope for awhile. Again we need to realize there is a process and a greater plan, dad is still hanging in there and working hard, but has been wiped out pretty much most of the morning. At this stage I think it’s probably for the best to decrease anxiety and allow for a little more healing! Just keep praying for him to relax and for whatever infection it is to be taken care of!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Merry-go-round and round and round..

The roller coaster of today keeps on going, it’s definitely been an interesting day. The nurse warmed up and ended up being fairly decent, but the respiratory therapist has a few things to learn. Dad did fairly well today, he was pretty much breathing on his own for about 6 hours or so. His blood pressure was elevated but it stayed fairly consistent and in a decent range. We’ve talked them into letting at least one of us in the room at all times to help comfort him when he starts to wake back up and become a little more alert. He starts with feeling the tube in his mouth and tries to bite down on it at times to get rid of it. We have to let him know what has happened, where he’s at and what it’s used for, or typically we just get it “it’s ok dad, try and relax we’re here with you” (which as I write that I’m not sure how that is any comfort at all when my sisters and step mom say it)

When I was sitting in the chair holding his hand and bantering about random thoughts, I started to think about a lot of things. One of the things I’ve been thinking about it is that I definitely need to marry a nurse. (I’ll regret saying this) If Chris (a nurse) wasn’t at the house, dad definitely wouldn’t have been with us. She (surprisingly) knew what to do and did the best of her ability so we’re able to spend more time with dad, I guess I’m indebted to her for that.

I was also considering how important family actually is, I can’t imagine being in a hospital and an unfamiliar environment with no clue what was going on. We have no idea what dad is thinking or what he remembers, but we know he can hear you at times. Sitting in the room watching the clinicians in action irritated me at times, because they don’t treat the patient as a person. When I was in school it was stressed that we need to tell the patient everything that is going on, who we are, and what we’re doing even if they aren’t responding, we don’t know what they can hear. For those of you who know me and know my pet peeves as a therapist, it’s when someone treats a patient who is non-verbal as a kid. Don’t talk to a 54 year old (sorry dad) as a child, don’t talk to him as if he is 4 or 5 - talk to him as you would if he’s able to respond back. The therapist came in today (and no I didn’t reveal I was a therapist until later) and worked his legs for 10 mins or so and definitely woke him up and increased his blood pressure. Her technique was poor and she demonstrated poor posture but I wasn’t judging.

Around 5 they decided to put dad back on the vent for the night, Chris and I were in the room (thankfully) when dad started to have a large spike in his blood pressure, his eyes opened and he turned really red, we jumped into action to start to comfort him and realized the respiratory therapist was doing something. After asking he told us that he is turning the vent back on. Dad was resisting which is fully understandable. You can tell he felt like he was choking and was searching for help, the respiratory therapist eventually went and asked the nurse for a little sedation to help calm him down and we requested suction. This irritated both Chris and I  because no one had a clue what he was doing, and it only makes sense to give a little more sedation when something is going to change like that, or at least tell the patient!!!!

The plan for tomorrow is to take him off the vent and hopefully get the tube out of his throat. He’s only on one IV now which is great but he’s getting a few more meds as needed.

I feel bad I’m not trying to complain in this blog, it’s just simply expressing my thoughts and life in the hospital. It’s kind of funny we’ve kind of transformed the waiting room into our house. We have taken it over and get offended when people walk in without taking their shoes off (not really).  We have the opportunity to meet a lot of really cool people in the waiting room, and we’ve had the opportunity to help comfort them as well. If you’ve ever met my aunt (dads sister) you know how amazing she is at making everyone feel so comfortable and she has such a kind heart. She’s had the chance to sit down and pray with the families and be a friend in time of need it’s been pretty incredible to witness.

It’s strange how a situation like this can bring so many people together and even strangers. I’ve been thankful for all the opportunities we’ve been presented and it’s definitely been memorable.

I keep telling my dad he better get ready because I’m going to sit in his room and we’re going to cheer like animals for the Ohio State game together. His room is looking pretty spectacular with drawings, Cleveland gear, daily bible verses and prayer request and even an Arkansas pennant.  

 A huge prayer request for tomorrow is to help dad with anxiety tomorrow. I don’t want him to get worked up and start fighting with everyone because he’s unfamiliar with what happened and where he’s at. We’re also praying his kidneys will start working, and that his blood pressure stays low.

I don’t know how I haven’t mentioned it until now but dad did have dialysis again today. They increased the volume from 3L to 5L (which is equal to 11 pounds). The guy who ran dialysis actually asked if he could play the harmonica for big pops (my words not his). He then played a lot of Christian songs for dad and it was pretty neat. John (the dialysis dude)  would play for anyone new who came to visit dad in the room. We told him how everyone else in our house (waiting room) wanted to hear him so he actually went in after his shift and played a song for them!



I hate roller coaster rides....

I don’t understand why every time I start talking to my dad his blood pressure begins to rise. Maybe I should stop talking so much about random things and attempting to be funny. I think I’ll be able to sleep tonight, I just keep getting more tired. I’m going to miss our flatulent star wars friend though, he was a rather nice guy, but we do have a few more house guest, wonder what exciting stories will come. I think we’re going to have an intense game of yahtzee and/or phase 10 tonight as well. Not to talk trash or anything of the sort, but I’m pretty confident I’m going to kick some butt.

I’m still on cloud nine (why do they call it cloud nine by the way, I think cloud three is overachieving enough) about my dad tonight. He was so responsive and he kept squeezing my hand. He even tried to talk to me a little and I had to explain to him that he had a tube in his throat to help him breath, and that we’re hoping they start to work to take it out tomorrow. This is the most awake he has been since I’ve been here, I haven’t talked to the nurse (she’s a little more shy) but they may have decreased the sedation a little, but I’m still stoked!  It was a great encouragement that I needed. I feel like finding a long hall and skipping all the way down it (I have no idea, it just popped in my head).  Hopefully tomorrow brings great things as well. I’m so happy I may even my nice to my stepsister (Courtney)!
 Thursday
Turns out everyone was too scared to play yahtzee and phase 10 with me, so they’re going to work up their courage today and attempt to play. Everyone is getting pretty exhausted, and we’re so happy to see dad responding a little more. I think it makes it easier on us to relax knowing he’s starting to do better. He’s still critical but much better than he was.

Last night I felt like there was at a lawnmower convention, I even thought to myself that I missed the other guy. There were two  ladies joining the party in the waiting room and they sounded like turbo charged machines their ability to make that sort of noise kind of impressed me.

We just got back from talking to the doc and the rest of the new medical team that is working today, it’s definitely a change from our normal routine and those nurses and doctors that are familiar with us and our crazy family. I’ve never really understood why people can’t deal with change of medical professionals taking care of family members, but now I understand! The doctor was fairly positive. They’re going to start weaning him on all his sedation medications, and start to wake him up. Let’s hope he doesn’t get very anxious. This doctor is pretty proactive and is going to start to weaning the vent.  He said he probably won’t come off of it today, but they’re going to try. Let’s hope for the best! Pray that he’ll tolerate that his levels will stay up. His kidneys still aren’t functioning but that’s not a primary concern at the time. Although the renal doctor did say he is not concerned about them starting back up.  He said that it could take 2-3 weeks for them to wake back up!

Today’s visiting hours haven’t started off all that good. We walk in and see that his blood pressure has skyrocketed and that he’s sweating pretty bad. We have to ask the nurse about it and what’s going on, and she tells us that he didn’t tolerate the wean (a.k.a the cold turkey stop of sedation) well so they aren’t going to try again today. Of course we didn’t handle that too well and Trish and Chris being the hard headed individuals that they are (don’t tell them, but it’s probably a good thing at this time) let the nurse know how they felt about that, and so she consulted with the doctor and they agreed to try again. We just simply want to stay in the loop and not have to find out things on our own. I think we’re just used to the bar being set high, and then when we come in and not see the friendly face we’re coming to love, we get anxious as well. They agreed to let Chris back and try to comfort him as they attempt to wean him again. Please be praying HARD today that we’ll be able to comfort and calm him, and that he begins to progress. And I’m sure we may need a little patience as well, but I think we can handle that focus all your prayers towards the big guy. 

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

I'm smiling just as much as I am when I get girl scout cookies!

Update……..
Hold your britches you’re lucky enough to get another update tonight. Just went in and dad was the most alert he has been so far! He kept his eyes open for about a minute and I was able to tell him what had happen. I told him he was at St. Josephs and that he had a heart attack but he was doing fantastic! He scrunched his eyes as if he was telling me “ are you serious?” He definitely seemed to understand and acknowledge those of us in the room. (I also received numerous hand squeezes) A few more people came in and he didn’t actually open his eyes again but he was turning his head to acknowledge their presence! It was soooo encouraging to see this. He is only on three IV drips right now as well, and his vitals are looking awesome!!! He’s a fighter and is doing great!!! He made my night!! God is good!

Laughter: the best medicine..

So tonight during the last part of visiting hours dad was rolled again, and it hurts me seeing him in so much pain when they roll him or move him. He wakes up and seems to be searching for help and I just want to help take that away, but the only thing we can do is give words of support and hold his hand and let him know we’re here for him. I just wish I could take the pain away, I would say I wish it was me instead of him, but we all know I’m way to much of a wimp to take any of that pain, but it’s a good thought. As we were getting ready to leave for the evening we noticed a little extra urine in the catheter which is awesome! It wasn’t much, but as I said early any sort of gain big or small is a step in the right direction! They lowered his PEEP levels which deals with pressure in his lungs on the vent down to a normal level which is another step and they may potentially start a process of letting him breathe more on his own rather than 50% machine help.
 
I made the great purchase of a body pillow tonight to help with the “sleep.” I’m pretty exhausted so I don’t think it will be a big problem but it is past 1 am and I’m still not ready for bed. I feel like I’m in Alaska with the constant day light, but it’s certainly not as pretty in here. We’ve been bribing the nurses with our selection of food and I shared my birthday cake (They’re lucky it wasn’t Girl Scout cookies) with them under the conditions that they’d wish me a happy b-day. My sister attempting to be the overachiever she is used a pizza to bribe under the condition that they take extra good care of my dad.  She being a girl should realize that chocolate cake is the way to a woman’s heart not a greasy pizza.  (I win again sister)

I think we’ve officially broken every rule of the waiting room. We have definitely had kids under 13 in the room and we have live flowers (I’m considering myself a flower, one of those ones that stink pretty bad but look awesome!!). There is also a “Recommendation” that tells us to store all personal items in the lockers, why would we put in a locker? That’s way too far away. We have the tv problem solved tonight as well. Last night we are all too lazy to get up and turn it down and/or change the channel, so we bought a remote and it works beautifully. It will also throw off the guy who attempts to change the channel on us again and we turn the tv off on him for his attempt to take over our room.

Wednesday
 The good news about today so far at 5:30 in the morning is that the remote was a great purchase and the body pillow follows suit just as well. The thing that wasn’t so nice last night was Darth Vader in our room (guy with sleep apnea machine which had an strangely annoying hum to it) and methane coming out (good thing he was far away) all night. There was lady that sounded like she was a team of tree loggers with high powered chainsaws who were sent to log all the national parks in Arkansas. Lastly, the feeling of my skin after I tried to reposition myself after it’s decided to become one with the cheap leather chairs. Other good news is that my spine is still out of line from sleeping the day before, so it wasn’t nearly as shocked when I slept on it funny again.
Now let’s hope for some good news with pops!

We haven’t had many gains so far today but he is maintaining his progress from yesterday. They are attempting to wean him off of a lot of his medicine so his immune system is going to be working a little harder. His blood pressure meds are all off so he’s keeping a good pressure all on his own. His platelet levels were a little low along with his blood level.  The low blood levels could be due to the dialysis. We’ve been talking about it, and a lot of people are going to donate blood. If you know my dad, you know that he loves a good deal and uses coupons all the time. So in honor of him we’re getting what’s called a “blood coupon” if we give blood we get a pint for free. I’m not allowed to give blood because of my trips out of the country (which may be good, so I won’t pass out). We had some family friends from Forrest City come visit us today and dad was able to open his eyes and see them for a bit. My grandma is also getting a lot more comfortable around the whole ICU mess (poles, tubes and other junk) and she was talking to my dad and was whispering to him, as she was talking to her he lifted up his right arm as if he was reaching to hold her hand. It’s simple things like that, that are reassuring and shows us the gentle giant is still in there and fighting strong.

Dad is doing dialysis again today, and their working on putting in a central line which is a more accurate means of giving meds. They’ve taken out one of the lines in his femoral artery because it’s been in there too long and they don’t want any infection. His blood pressure has been dropping on dialysis so they did start him back up on one of his meds to help regulate it.  He’s tolerating the feedings well, they started slow but now it’s up to where they want it to be and he has had no problems thus far. We’re all kind of sad that our main doctors and nurses are all going to be off for the next few days and I’m going to have to start my bribing wars with my sister all over again.

He has been a little more responsive today, and definitely seems to know we’re here, but he has trouble keeping is eyes open for long. I bought him a stuffed animal (manly of course) and we call it Moondog-  in honor of his beloved Cavs.  Hopefully he’ll remember that I did something nice and gave it to him.


We continue to decorate his room and we’re adding pictures to the wall which have been painted by Courtney’s children (Dads step grandkids).  Riley (6 years old) wrote a little note for dad and I thought I’d share it – “I hope you get feeling better papa, and get to go home one day. I love you and miss you to. I want to see you again. I was really sad win you got in the ambalance the day before yesterday. Please come home. I love you so so so much!”

We just spoke to one of our doctors and he was very pleased with the way dad looks. He said he’s done well in the past 24 hours and that’s great news for us! The awesome amazing incredible nurse Denise (I’m sucking up because she’s going to be reading) is taking great care of him, and is somehow putting up with us. Dialysis seemed to go pretty well other than his blood pressure dropping a little but the meds did their job.  Weaning him off his meds is going fairly well and we’re making gains. The doctors and therapist feel like if the pressures stay up then they’re going to decrease the sedation and try to see how much he can do on his own.

Dad is starting to respond more when people leave the room by waiving with his foot, it’s kind of humorous and he’s going to kill us for it but we’ve all been sharing funny stories about things he’s done in the past that are ridiculous and hilarious. I’ve considered sharing some of those stories with you, but I’ll leave everyone in anticipation for it and maybe I’ll share.

Sorry this post is quite different than the rest, it may be the fatigue setting in, but I think laughter is one of the best medicines so I’m trying to bring some humor to the room, and I can definitely see him rolling his eyes at me at saying “o brother.”

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

"Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs." Henry Ford

Attempting to sleep on two chairs, lights that that don’t turn off and a TV with sportscenter on a continuous loop is really not a great condition to sleep in. I’ve never been to the chiropractor but I think I’m going to have to start if my back and neck feel this way again. So today started off with some good news. Hopefully I keep getting good birthday news throughout the day.

The doctor called us in after rounds this morning and had mostly good news for us. He said the brain has full function from what he can see which is a good encouragement! His liver is starting to work, his heart is looking strong and his lungs are getting better. The doctor was attempting to lighten the mood and a tried to make funny and said dads kidneys feel insulted and aren’t working yet. He started dialysis today which filtered the blood and take place for the kidneys and hopefully it will just be a short term thing. They are also put in a feeding tube so he can get some nutrients (I know the south can cook, but I don’t think they put good food in these things.) The doctor also said there were no signs of pneumonia but we’re not out of the woods yet.

They turned him last night and Tricia said he was coughing and looked like he was in a bit of pain which is fully understandable when you have a 100 pound crazy lady (Step mom) bouncing on your chest doing CPR and breaking half your ribs.

It’s about 2 now, and I’ve been back to see him a couple times. He was on dialysis and the nurses today that I have meet have seemed pretty good and they know I’m concerned about developing pressure sores and turning him. They can’t move him to another larger bed until he is more stable so he is stuck in this one for a little while longer. We talked to another doctor and he wasn’t as upbeat at times and was worried about dad becoming septic so he is starting antibiotics to help prevent it. All his cultures have come back negative so far, so that is good news!

He hasn’t been too responsive with us today so far, he’s kind of wiped out and dialysis will definitely do that to you. He’s moving both of his feet and I made sure to remind him after this I’m never touching them again. He squeezed his eyes together a little to show that he heard me as he has done a few times before.

He’s still in severe critical condition, and they have been able to lower the amount of oxygen and it’s on 50 % so his lungs are doing about half the work themselves. I’ll go see him again soon, and will continue to update on his progress. A gain large or small is a gain and we savor each one no matter what. We’re thankful for the chance we’ve been given so far!

As I was sitting up/curled up/ squished in the two chairs I put together I was reminded once again how much you can tell about a person through their eyes. I really noticed this in Haiti, but I was certainly reminded of it again last night when I saw his bright eyes looking at me, even as short as it was, it was so reassuring. I haven’t seen him open his eyes today but I know that he hears us when we’re in there talking to him.


My aunt (Dads sister) and a couple cousins arrived today, and I had requested my aunt bring some material to spruce up the room. She knocked it out of the park with having just a couple hours to prepare for it. Of course we’re going to decorate with Cleveland gear so we have a Sweater vest t-shirt, an Indians flag and cap, and two rally towels that are perfect. One of the towels as the words “rise up and believe” and the other has “one goal.” These towels were from the Cavs games-- when they were actually good and in the playoffs! Also, my stepsister’s kids have drawn their Papa some pictures to remind them how much he is loved!  All of these are great motivation for his recovery and of course the sports stuff brings back great memories.

It’s about 6 right now and I just got out of visiting hours again, he was still not very responsive. When my grandma came in she wanted him to move his feet and so I asked him to do that for her and he moved them up and down a few times! He’s been coughing a little more and is clearly in pain when he coughs, he wants to move his arms to hold his chest but because they’re tied down he can’t get them up, and he really doesn’t have much energy to fight it. During one of his coughing spells Trish asked him to squeeze our hands and he did it 4 or 5 times in a row, and it was definitely some encouragement we needed.

There hasn’t been much of a change throughout the day, and people have felt sorry for me because this has been going on during my birthday. But really the best gift I’ve received is my dad still being here with me. It sounds cheesy and lame, but going through this has made us remember how important family and others are to us.

Monday, March 21, 2011

"When the going gets tough, the tough get going"

I will admit the idea for the blog wasn’t mine at all. A daughter of one of my previous patients would keep everyone updated with a blog on her father’s recovery and I also found myself checking daily to see what the new progress was. This will be my attempt to keep everyone updated to make it easier on all of us. I apologize for the poor grammar and mistakes that you may encounter, but I actually have an excuse this time due to a lack of sleep.
When trying to think of an idea for the name of a blog a few things were thrown out--my dad has also been known as a gentle giant, but he is also the owner of a store in which they have named Redeemed, because they believe everything deserves a second chance. I looked up the proper definition of redeemed and it is suiting for many different reasons. One of the ones that really struck me was a definition that said “to fulfill or carry out,” I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and that it may not be just for my dad. My father has touched many lives and is continuing to even through these trials. I know this has made me a stronger person already and will continue too. To follow up on the gentle giant aspect of it, my dad is an intimidating character he’s 6’4”- 6’5”although he adamantly says 6’6” and about 330 pounds. He has a loud bark but not much of a bite. He’s a huge teddy bear at heart and has a great passion for many things in life especially family. He’s one of the most sensitive (in a good way) individuals I know (if you get past the intimidation factor) and has a great heart.

My dad has been having right shoulder pain but he had thought it was just a sore muscle or a bad gallbladder. He was standing in the shower trying to relieve some of his shoulder pain he then told my step mom that it was starting to feel better and she heard a crash and found him laying in the shower. As crazy as she is already, she started running around even crazier to the neighbors trying to get help to lift him out of the tub to start cpr. Eventually they were able to get up out of the tub.  My stepmom started cpr until the paramedics arrived about 15 minutes later.  
My step sister Courtney gave me a call to tell me the paramedics were on the way as I was going to watch the Ohio State game in Cleveland and as I thought of turning around to go home, I thought that my dad would kill me if I missed OSU playing in the NCAA tourney.  So after not really paying attention to the game and talking to numerous people on the phone, Ohio State crushes George Mason, meanwhile they were able to get a pulse but they were fully breathing for him. As they arrived at the hospital he eventually went into the cath lab and he was found to have a 100% blockage of the LAD or  his main artery that supplies blood to the left ventricle of his heart. A stent was placed and successfully opened the artery.  In total they had to shock his heart a total of 9 times (3 at home and 6 in the cath lab)
The earliest flight I was able to get was Monday at 10:20 and I arrived at the hospital with my grandparents at 5 pm. It’s definitely an experience I’m not used to in traveling with my grandparents. My grandma forgot to take out a pair of scissors she had and she didn’t bag any of her liquids that she had, so we spent quite awhile at the security section getting everything solved. I have great family and friends that have taken me and picked me up from the airport. Jeff was kind enough to not go into work and wake up at the crack of dawn to drive me to Cleveland and then Lisa came and picked us up and drove us an hr and a half hr to the hospital.

As we arrived at the hospital I was greeted by yet more family, and have been smothered with hugs, which certainly hasn’t been a bad thing. I arrived passed visiting hours and the nurses were kind enough to let me in. It was definitely hard to see my dad like this with 12 -13 IV drips hanging and numerous other gadgets attached to him. It’s hard to get words out to talk to him, but as soon as I walked in, he did open his eyes (he must have smelled my odor) and he started to move his arms and legs and become anxious. It was so reassuring to see him and know that he recognized me. I told him to calm down and grabbed onto his hand which seemed to the trick (although I think most of it was the drugs). He does seem to understand what we’re saying to him, but he is having problems keeping his eyes open for more than a few seconds. They have him pretty heavily sedated because his heart needs to rest and recover. He is sure to have lots of broken ribs because of the cpr, and has a pretty bad wound on his backside, from knocking all the faucets out of the shower. He has been too critical to move around so he’s been in one position for quite awhile.

The therapist in me had to check his heels for pressure and ask if he was being turned. They are going to try and move him to a different bed tomorrow that will turn him more often and relieve some pressure. He has made some small gains, he is not requiring the machine to fully breathe for him anymore and they are going to try and wean him a little more. His kidneys and liver are not functioning and he had a port put in for dialysis to begin tomorrow if his kidneys continue to not work. Keep praying that he’ll keep making gains, big or small, any gain is a miracle. It was a miracle things happened the way they were with my step mom home to respond immediately. He was actually supposed to be driving with the rest of the family to Texas for a vacation, but it didn’t work out for everyone to leave because of a few circumstances. Thank God this didn’t happen while he was actually driving with 4 young kids in the car and everyone else.

I was able to go back and talk to him again with my sister, and we were trying to joke around with him, and he seemed to give us the scowl face which made us laugh. I’m attempting to bring in a little humor, but if you know me, you know my jokes are lame.
We joke about the rules we’re already breaking in the ICU waiting room/ hotel/diner. Just a few of those broken rules are 1. Do not move furniture (we need beds you know) 2. No cell phones in the ICU (I forget to turn it off) 3. No food or drinks in the waiting room (are you kidding this is the south.. we have a pot luck to feed the entire hospital.) 4. Stop at the volunteer desk. 5. Wash hands before entering and exiting. 6. Two immediate family members at a time (you joking). And this is only the first day….

Something that has stuck with me ever since I’ve heard about everything is the last thing I heard my dad say to me. As I was talking to him Saturday night, he hung up with “Love ya tons bud,” which is a little different than his normal love you. It hit me as soon as I hung up and still haven’t forgotten about it. I know that he has a ton of prayers and love going out for him, and I have reminded him about it whenever I get the chance. I appreciate the outpouring of support we have seen, and it means the world to us.

Time to attempt to get some sleep, There is no light switch for this room, so it’s really bright.. should make for a good night.